


Disgust or Distrust

by Fyrielle



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 16:11:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14116044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyrielle/pseuds/Fyrielle
Summary: Estinien spends some quality time alone with the Warrior of Light Fyris Vellir, and discovers the secret behind the veil she's always wearing.





	Disgust or Distrust

"Are you still going to drink more?"

Estinien shrugged and Fyris could swear she heard him chuckle a little. Unlikely.

"Now that the kid is asleep, there is no reason for me to hold back." he explains. "Besides, we've barely started with this third bottle, might as well empty it."  
"What are we drinking to though?"

The dragoon took a second to consider her question. It was quite late in the night, and only the both of them were still awake. Alphinaud had been the first to give in to sleep, exhausted by the day, and Ysayle hadn't waited too long to get some rest as well. Fyris had never been one to sleep a lot for some reason, as for himself, well, someone had to make sure the fire would stay lit all night, right? Not to mention there were still monsters around and about, and he wasn't going to leave all the work to Fyris. He told himself he was just staying up in case she needed some rest as well. Yet he couldn't lie to himself; he was definitely enjoying her company a lot, probably more than he should.

"To spending a lovely night together talking about battles," he answered while lifting the bottle.  
"I'll drink to that alright," the young woman answered. "I'm running out of stories to tell though."  
"Well, do you have questions then?"  
"For you?"

Fyris examined him with a puzzled look. With this helmet covering his face, it was always quite hard to tell what he had in mind. Right now, she was aware that he was trying to get her to talk about something specific, but she couldn't exactly figure out what just yet. She decided to play it safe for the time being.

"Nothing comes to mind right now," she had to admit as she reached out for the bottle after he took a long sip.  
"I have one for you then."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Why the veil?"

She froze. Of course he was going to ask about that. Like so many men before him. She had to admit she was feeling a little disappointed in him for inquiring about her face on the first occasion he was getting. His company had been so nice the last few days, he'd been somehow more relaxed with her, while he only showed his angered, impatient side to the others. He was gradually warming up to her, showing a softer, even charming side of him. The two of them were often caught bantering by their companions, and that didn't discourage them in the slightest. She felt they were becoming friends and the prospect made her so happy! But now he was asking that one question she had grown to loathe so much. Leaving her to face two choices: show him and gain disgust, or refuse and gain distrust. She was stuck.

"I could ask you the same," she finally said. "Why the helmet?"  
"Well, mine head needs protection. I doubt your turban and veil offer any kind of effective cover whatsoever though."  
"Why don't you ever remove it?" she pressed.  
"I've gotten used to wearing it at all times. I never remove mine armor either, as you've noticed."  
"How you can even manage to sleep with all those spikes all over you is beyond me."

Estinien chuckled once more and took the bottle from her hand. He sipped some of the alcohol quietly, savoring the warmth spreading through his aching body. He considered giving up as he noticed how distraught his companion was, but curiosity won.

"So, why the veil?" he presses on.  
"So I don't scare the hell out of children and women," she spat.

He let go of the now almost empty bottle and looked at her. Fyris was a mystery to all of them. Always concealing the lower part of her face behind a thick black veil, all they knew of her was a scar, and a sole piercing green eye. What she was hiding was an easy guess though; all of them had already seen her wearing only her skintight underarmor that left her shoulders and thighs bare, and her skin was covered in scars. Not to even mention the missing arm and eye. Of course the rest of her face was doomed to be covered in wounds as well. Estinien simply wondered to what extent she was disfigured and why she was hiding facial scars while the rest of her body didn't seem to pose any kind of issue.

"I can understand hiding from strangers. But we're alone, why don't you ever remove your veil in the presence of friends?"

She looked away and he noticed the way her fingers started fiddling with her belt. She was preoccupied.

"I don't want to be judged, to be honest... especially by you."  
"By me? Why would I even judge you?"

She didn't answer. Estinien gave her a few minutes. Figuring out she wouldn't say anything at all, he stood up and walked up to her, simply to sit down by her side instead of across her. He glanced at the sleeping forms of Alphinaud and Ysayle, making sure they wouldn't wake up at a critical moment.

"Tell you what," he continues. "I'll remove mine helmet, and you'll remove your veil. No judging. Would that be alright?"  
"Why is this so important to you?"  
"I want to know you better. Is that too much to ask?"  
"... I guess it's okay. Would you... go first though?"  
"If you promise me you won't chicken out."  
"Alright."

Estinien sighed, suddenly feeling quite self conscious. Showing his bare face had never been an issue before. Why did he give so much importance to what this woman would think of him? She was nothing special, after all!  
He finally shook his head and removed his helmet quickly, unveiling cold blue eyes, long white hair, and almost regal features. Fyris' veil might conceal most of her emotions, he saw in her eye how surprised she was. He simply hoped the surprise was a pleasant one.

"W-why would you conceal your face," she babbled after a few seconds. "You're handsome."  
"I told you, head needs protection. It's as simple as that."   
"I... changed my mind. I can't show you."  
"I did my part, you have to honor yours."  
"It's just... I just..."  
"I will not laugh or anything of the sort. Do you not trust me yet?"  
"I do trust you..."  
"Then let me see. Please." His gaze seems to soften. "You don't have to hide anything from me."

She swallowed, hard. Slowly, she unwrapped the turban around her head, revealing her long, heavy silver locks. Then she proceeded to remove her veil with a sigh. Right before lowering the piece of cloth, she gave Estinien an enigmatic look, and he couldn't quite tell what she was trying to convey. Finally, she let go of the veil. She closed her valid eye, refusing to see his reaction. The scars across her lips, jaw, nose and temple started aching and burning again like on the very first day.

"Gods be good..." he whispered.  
"I told you, this isn't..."  
"Fyris..."  
"Are you happy now? You were hiding a handsome face while I only have ugliness and pain to share. This isn't fair."

She reached for her own face, trying to conceal the ugly scars with her hand, but Estinien stopped her, gently grabbing her wrist while shaking his head.

"Please no more. You're beautiful."  
"Don't make fun of me," she said while freeing her hand.  
"I'm not. And we have a problem."  
"What?"  
"I want to kiss you."

Fyris gasped and quickly looked around. Ysayle and Alphinaud still seemed to be deeply asleep.

"Are you crazy?! What if they hear you!"  
"I don't really care, honestly."  
"Why would you even want to do that?" she said while trying to put her veil back on. "Do you have some kind of nasty fetish or something?"  
"I just find you beautiful, is that a crime?"  
"No, but..."  
"Please, let me see again."

She sighed and let go of the veil her shaky hands hadn't been able to tie back up. Now that he'd seen her, she might as well drop the act and enjoy a veil free evening.

"Come closer to the fire."

Another sigh, yet she complied. Her gaze was distant, and Estinien could see a lot of hurt in her eye. Surely having such a face brought its lot of misadventures and bad memories.

"Allow me," he said while reaching for her chin.

She let him do what he wanted but she remained closed off. He examined her features with some kind of fascination. Not only her scars but her traits too. The length of her nose, the shape of her lips, the delicate curb of her cheeks. Truly, he did enjoy what he was seeing. She could hear him murmur from time to time, which only increased her discomfort.

"Will you let me kiss you?"  
"Are you insane?" she whispered.  
"Forget about them for now. Do you want to let me kiss you or no?"  
"I can't... You can't..."  
"Why not?"  
"Because of what I am, I'm just..."  
"A lovely person with a lovely face. Who wouldn't want to kiss you?"  
"I can't... I just can't..."

She turned away from him and he thought that was it. Half saddened, half disappointed by this turn of events, he stood up to go isolate himself for the night when he clearly saw her shoulders shaking.

"Fyris?"  
"I'm okay," she lied as he clearly heard the tears in her voice.  
"You're not." He sighs. "I'm sorry, this is my fault."  
"You did nothing wrong. Gods I'm such an idiot."

She hid her face in her knees and started sobbing softly. Feeling like the scum of the earth, Estinien sat down by her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. He had no idea what to do, so he stuttered whatever came to mind first.

"D-do you need a hug?"  
"... A hug would be nice."  
"Even from me?"  
"Yeah."

He pulled her to him gently and she didn't resist. Her head rolled against his shoulder and he felt a few tears drop on his neck.

"Thank you."  
"Don't thank me when I'm responsible for your tears."  
"Another man would have ignored me for sure."  
"That other man would be a fool."

She smiled and looked at him with a half lidded eye.

"Do you mind holding me like this?"  
"... I don't."  
"Will you do it a little longer?"  
"... Sure."

He didn't sleep that night. He listened to her soft breathing until the sun started rising. Then he woke her up gently so she could put her veil back on before the others came to.  
That was the last time he'd seen her face.


End file.
